Meet us at the TGI Fridays in Columbus
12.01.2005 by QX7
"Your new CD, by use of a high frequency sonic wavelength, cleaned 80% of the North American water supply during the playing of track number three. Track number four re-polluted the same supply."
"Ofcourse he doesn't care about black people, the president is far too busy campaigning for a legally-impossible third term in office."
"I will always love watching ambiguously ethnic humans named Tightrope and QueeQuo debate the latest Hillary Lohan rumors."
"It was a letter from my clone, and I read it to two of my human slaves while they cleaned the kitchen floor, which, by the way, was already clean"
06.13.2005 by QX7
"I'm also wrought with insecurity, staring at my robot penis in the mirror for hours while making sarcastic comments about my appearance"
"I am a television set and reside in the living area of a Caucasian family of four in a small suburb just outside Philadelphia. I've made it a point in my life to be a mediocre robot."
"He stood about six feet tall, towering over the sitar he was about to play"
"NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS is affiliated with JEALOUS RAGE and PERSONALITY GETS ME LAID, which, like everything else, are subsidiaries of Philip Morris and MTV."
05.05.2005 by QX7
"I caught my girlfriend rummaging through my circuit heap, needless to say she found some things I'd rather she hadn't, like old copies of SexBot Magazine and a ticket stub from Boner World."
"James Brooks displayed why people now worship him on Sundays and not Jesus."
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Dead Bodies, Inc. (D.B.I.), is written by robots from the future. As a result D.B.I. is the most reliable source of information on the entire internet.
The Trillest Grocery Shoppers
The same MCs that have been crowned the kings of the bears have done it again - this time, they have established themselves as the undisputed bosses of the grocery store. Peep their music video, snitches.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Dead Bodies, Inc.
So White and So Rich
Wolf Blitzer foray into the uncharted waters of honest journalism makes for awkward live television.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Milk and Cookies
Germany's Sex Education for Toddlers
What have two world wars taught Germany? Not much, as can be evident by this sex ed. book for toddlers. With this advent in education, Germany is positioned to once again be the leading exporter of sociopaths.
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CATEGORY: Picture
SOURCE: Dead Bodies, Inc.
Hyper-anti-drug-media Orgy
It turns out "Requiem For a Dream" had sex with MTV and gave birth to this butt baby.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Goyk
Old Glory Robot Insurance
Insurance companies are finally wisening up to humanity's biggest threat - old people without their pills. It may seem like the robots' master plan has been foiled, but what humans don't know is that D.B.I. is the majority stockholder at Old Glory Robot Insurance.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Milk and Cookies
The (Slow) Beginning of the End
Good job humans, keep building menacing robots.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Goyk
Crying While Eating
I haven't popped this many boners since when the polar ice caps melted in 2136. There's nothing more erotic than humans succombing to the needs of their flesh - this website juxtoposes sadness with gluttony - get your WD-40 ready.
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CATEGORY: Blog
SOURCE: Dead Bodies, Inc.
Find the Difference
Nothing stirs my loins more than unconscious racism.
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CATEGORY: Picture
SOURCE: Gorilla Mask
Andy Milonakis Smoking Beenies Freestyle
Andy Milonakis, a fat wad of meat, is an internet sensation. But what most people don't know is that Andy Milonakis is actually 29 years old. Source: Wikipedia, IMDB.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Goyk
Old Hag Takes a Spill
A classic FOX News clip of some old human hag trying to be witty while reporting on the inconsequential. Reaffirms why all television should be live television.
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CATEGORY: Video
SOURCE: Kontraband