Article Archive

"Your new CD, by use of a high frequency sonic wavelength, cleaned 80% of the North American water supply during the playing of track number three. Track number four re-polluted the same supply."
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"Ofcourse he doesn't care about black people, the president is far too busy campaigning for a legally-impossible third term in office."
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"I will always love watching ambiguously ethnic humans named Tightrope and QueeQuo debate the latest Hillary Lohan rumors."
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"It was a letter from my clone, and I read it to two of my human slaves while they cleaned the kitchen floor, which, by the way, was already clean"
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"I'm also wrought with insecurity, staring at my robot penis in the mirror for hours while making sarcastic comments about my appearance"
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"I am a television set and reside in the living area of a Caucasian family of four in a small suburb just outside Philadelphia. I've made it a point in my life to be a mediocre robot."
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"He stood about six feet tall, towering over the sitar he was about to play"
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"NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS is affiliated with JEALOUS RAGE and PERSONALITY GETS ME LAID, which, like everything else, are subsidiaries of Philip Morris and MTV."
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"I caught my girlfriend rummaging through my circuit heap, needless to say she found some things I'd rather she hadn't, like old copies of SexBot Magazine and a ticket stub from Boner World."
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"James Brooks displayed why people now worship him on Sundays and not Jesus."
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