In the 1950's I was quite bored, a bit sad, and altogether perplexed at my situation in life. World War II brought the death of millions of humans, a joyous thing, but with those human casualties came countless robot deaths as well. I say countless because no human ever took the time to actually count how many planes, tanks, cars, and other assorted machines lost their lives. I wanted to do something to get back at the humans for their wasteful and careless nature. After receiving my PhD in Neuroscience and Behavioral Biology, cutely acronymed NBB, I set out to create a drug that would ruin the human mind from the inside out. After scrapping my initial plan for a drug I called "Crevace," which you probably know today as "Crack," I decided to try something even more devious and sinister: Thalidomide.
By 1957 I had my drug on the European and Canadian markets under the guise that it cured morning sickness in pregnant women. In actuality, the only thing it was curing was their babies having arms and legs! A couple of years and ten thousand deformed humans later, my drug was hastily pulled from the shelves by both the European and Canadian governments. No more French babies crying about their stumps. This is where the tragedy of my invention begins.
Apparently one of my old Thalidomide victims was attempting to stub her way onto an Air France flight when an employee of the airline informed her that a "torso" could not fly alone. The Air France asshole continued, "I'm sorry but a head, torso and a butt cannot fly alone on one of our planes." The torso, dejected and embarrassed, did what any human would do if placed in the same situation: she sued the airline. Now I feel like everything has come full circle for me and Thalidomide, and for the worse. I never wanted to help humans, and I certainly never wanted to laugh at a Frenchman's humor, but now I've done them both. It may be time for me to re-think things in my life.
Source: Torsos not allowed to fly
