Unfortunately for Kerry and other robots around the world, the revolution will have to wait. Essentially, we chalk the loss up to the following: When created, Kerry Bot was programmed with a politician chip that randomly forms rhetorical statements and changes opinions based on recent poll results. By the time the last exit poll was taken, America’s opinion about Kerry’s "flip-flopping," a rather phallic way to describe opinion changing, was clear: Kerry was a no good flip-flopping stinker. Who would have ever thought a politician chip so seemingly foolproof could be the cause of a campaign’s downfall? Dante Richard, Kerry’s famous cyborg creator, thought that his rhetoric chip was perfectly sound. Unfortunately he also suffered from acute dementia and alcoholism late in life, which may have effected Kerry’s construction.
Bush distanced himself cleverly from the fact the he and Kerry are both wealthy humans that went to Yale and masturbated in a coffin during pledging for their human fraternity Skull and Bones. Why? Because details are not important! Perhaps in 2008 the GOP will trot a 400-pound retard out to face the Democrats one-two punch of Hilary Clinton and a paraplegic half Black/ half Jewish manatee. A spitting image of the average American would win in a landslide.
So a robot ran for President and a robot lost. Certainly a shame, but in all honestly we were starting to get annoyed with the amount of shitty human actors and incense burning hippies supporting him. Now Kerry Bot can fade into the obscurity of the Malaysian foothills and finally, finally, kill his annoying dilettante human wife.
