Let me learn you on the complicated plot of this beast of a film: Sandler, a chef, and Leoni, his husky voiced wife, hire a new housekeeper for their Los Angeles home. That’s where the Latino, Paz Vega, rides in on a Mexican Jumping Bean, holding up a huge sign that reads "Typecast Minority." Can you imagine? A Latino actress cast as a cleaning lady. For a fleeting moment I thought that God, and not James Brooks, was the director of this masterpiece. Vega’s character is named Flor after what she cleans best, and in another brilliant Hollywood twist, she becomes the sexual desire of Sandler. I was nearly blown away with originality at the thought of a minority human playing a forbidden fruit sexual object in an otherwise all-white cast. And since Vega is brown, she plays a Mexican housekeeper in the film, despite being a model from Spain.
At the movie’s climax, Leoni catches Sandler and Vega kissing, and just as she begins to confront them, a giant snail crashes through the wall and pours a hot cup of coffee on her head. Unreal! James Brooks is a mastermind. They should lock him up and throw away the key before he invents a new film genre that changes Hollywood forever. Snailedy.
By the way, on December 17th, when the movie comes out, a hot new trend of wearing shirts covered in cold cuts will emerge. So get ahead of the game and start stapling cuts of deli meat onto all of your shirts now, and when the trend hits, act really annoyed and talk about how you’ve “been” wearing your shirts like that.
Disclaimer: Although he can travel into the future, Blackbot wouldn’t waste his time actually seeing this film. Nor does he see any of the films he has reviewed, but he is skilled in the art of assuming.
