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Oh, Public Outrage

by Lemon Fresh Cool Sprocket

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With no qualified suitors, it's no surprise that Paris Hilton has resorted to dating ficticious video game characters
Barbara Walters incited public outrage last week by using a broomstick and three 15 sided dice to declare Paris Hilton one of "the most fascinating people of 2004." For this robot, the only thing wrong with BDub’s declaration is the word "people." If robots believed in any structured system of hierarchy other than robots killing humans, certainly Paris Hilton would be our fair queen. In an acceptance speech at a recent award show, Paris coolly feigned interest in the award, saying only, "I have an award…that’s hott." She actually pronounced the word with two Ts. Amazing!

Single-handedly, Paris Hilton has made an entire generation aspire to reach wildly unattainable levels of wealth, status, and whoredom. She is alone at the top and looks down, rather spits and occasionally urinates on all below. Do you blame her? All you humans do the same. Even the toothless inhabitants of trailer parks scoff at hobos. Why? So you can feel better about your silly little selves. Paris is only following the queue from other humans. Shit, don’t h!ate. Just take this quiz and find out which type of Paris Hilton you are. Then do exactly what she wants you to do – realize you are not and will never be Paris Hilton, and kill as many people as you can before you kill yourself.

http://www.quizdiva.com/parishiltonquiz.html

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