Following in your father's gay footsteps is one way to make him love you
Inventors of alcohol and cover-up mascara, masters of blowjobs, NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS are at it again. This frolicsome bunch of insecure and self-loathing humans furnished a new report to further solidify their position of social limbo:
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Of course, whenever things such as "science" and "research" are involved, robots are naturally behind the wheel. In fact, NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS contracted a stethoscope, two wrenches and toaster oven to "scientifically prove" that ugly humans receive less care than their gorgeous human counterparts. Now, thanks to our robot friends, NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS can rest easy knowing that ugly humans think their parents don’t really love them.
Christian Scientists performing chemistry research
As if humans really needed "science" to tell them this one. Babies, no matter how attractive they may be, are fucking annoying. With their crying and gurgling and carrying on, the world would be better off if all of them found dumpsters. But humans, with their ridiculous need to protect all adorable creatures, merely cannot bring themselves to kill their young, and they actually care for their young if they're attractive. Nonsense! When I was just a tin can, my robot father, then a laser pointer, left me on a goat farm. Well, I survived and I am better off for it. Neglecting ugly human babies follows the same logic that propels humans to think nothing of intentionally stepping on a worm but gather in outraged masses whenever a precious kitten is accidentally left in an oven.
This report has been brought to you by NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS. NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALE HUMANS is affiliated with JEALOUS RAGE and PERSONALITY GETS ME LAID, which, like everything else, are subsidiaries of Philip Morris and MTV. NOT QUITE PRETTY FEMALES was founded in the Soil Age by Sarah Ahibangher and poker wiz, Annie Duke.
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