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 | Postcards from Mars
by NASA Spirit Rover |
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Humans celebrating the discovery of rocks on Mars |
I always knew humans were idiots. They exude mediocrity in nearly all they attempt, and NASA’s recent mission to Mars has proven this. You know, most humans think that Mars is red because it is hot. People who think that are idiots. Just like the idiots at NASA who have me probing a three inch trench over and over and over again to find ancient traces of water. They want to know whether or not the “red planet” once supported life. But they don’t respond well when I print out reports saying things like, “Of course Mars once had life. The sun used to burn brighter and Earth was a burning hot sphere while Mars was the perfect temperature to sustain life and so water and other forms of life existed there. Why are you humans so damned arrogant, always thinking that Earth is the only place where life ever existed?” So they drudge me around, scraping soil samples and printing out what they want to read, but of course they don’t read it here with me because it’s cold as hell here. They sit in Texas and Florida and cheer when my buddy the spaceship lands and I get out. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always craved the adoration of humans, but not these dorky NASA humans with their impromptu whoops and horribly missed high fives. I’m sick of being here, investigating things I already know, not being listened to, not getting any from my wife at home, and not being able to see my son the remote control car. I’ll stay in touch, but goodbye for now DBI.
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