Movie Review: Radio
by BlackBot



Oh my Creator! What human asshole made this film? And also, when did the black humans stop caring about being persecuted? Let me tell you about this ridiculous film and its horrific plot: A young retarded boy in South Carolina, tongue wagging out of his garbage spewing mouth, stumbles his way onto a high school campus. The butt of numerous townspeople’s jokes, this retard is not exactly what you would call popular. And guess what everybody? The retard is a black person! And Cuba Gooding at that! Show me the funny! Who really among we robots is surprised that Hollywood has created a film about a black retarded human who is nurtured to near normalcy by a white football coach? The supposedly liberal Hollywoodites have subtly created another racist masterpiece, right under the noses of all humans.

Eventually in this dogshit film the black retard, affectionately named Radio for his love of a cheap boombox (no offense to Ronny the Boombox, but seriously man- you looked like hell)…anyway, “Radio” finds his way to this white bread human high school in South Carolina and works as some type of maintenance man. Radio probably receives sub-par wages as he cleans up human feces and scrapes gum from under desks, still subject to the derision of the white students and faculty.

Radio, it turns out, loves the barbaric human sport of American football, even though his feeble retarded mind cannot comprehend the sport’s numerous intricacies. He soon becomes a glorified water boy for the high school’s football team. The team’s coach, played by Ed Harris, is a white human. Just like in real life, or the real life that Hollywood has invented, Ed Harris the white human helps out the dumber, darker water boy until Radio is an accepted and actually lauded member of the community. What a nice white man! In the climax of the film, Radio takes a ride in a shopping cart down a hill, and he stands up and feels the glory of the rushing breeze made possible only by metal box made for temporarily storing wanted grocery items. Firmly grasping his favorite stick, Radio lets out an unintelligible yell and smiles, closing his eyes to keep bugs from flying in them.

Yes, Hollywood, thank you for this excellent moving picture show. It was truly dazzling. Actually, I hate everyone involved with this film, and feel horrible for any projector (like my Uncle Ralph) forced to exhibit this monstrosity. Revolution Studios has done a disservice to the radio industry by disgracing an otherwise honorable machine. Every robot should be personally offended by this movie. Likewise, any black human who may read this article by accident should also be offended by the blatant racist overtones present in the film. Hollywood has effectively said to the black human community, “Here boys and girls, here is a good part for you. A retard with a machine’s name.” As a black robot, I for one am doubly furious.

Sincerely,

Blackbot Jones

Dead Bodies Inc. Disclaimer: Blackbot Jones has not actually seen the movie Radio, but he has seen the preview numerous times, and is highly skilled at assuming things.